10 crazy landlord claims (© David C Ellis/Getty Images)
A landlord's claim: "You don't need a dishwasher; just wash them by hand." // © David C Ellis/Getty Images
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If ever there is a time to turn up the skepticism, it’s when the landlord starts “explaining.”
Take these buzz phrases, which lead off one poor excuse after another:
“If you don’t like it ...”
“No one else ...”
“I can’t afford ...”
Please – someone hit the gong and put a stop to the show!
Like it or not, if you’re a renter, you are involved in a business transaction. The landlord isn’t dad, isn’t your dorm mother, isn’t even the goofy but lovable Mr. Roper next door. He’s a businessman, and no one promised that business dealings would be fair, ethical or even honest.
So before you sign, give in or pay, know first and foremost when to cry bull.
To help, here’s a starter plate of some typical outrageous landlord claims and why, according to the experts, you shouldn't swallow them. Perhaps you’ve already heard a few of them yourself, or even fallen for some. Read on, and don’t make that mistake again.

1. Landlord’s claim: ‘You can just do the dishes by hand.’
Tenant’s response: “Yes, I know it’s possible to do dishes by hand. I’ve even done it before. But the apartment that I am paying you to use came with a working dishwasher. That was the deal.”
“You can’t just let it remain inoperable and expect that you’re going to get the same rent,” says Janet Portman, a landlord-tenant lawyer and author of “Every Tenant’s Legal Guide.” “It’s just basic contract law.”
Portman cited the case of a tenant who, when the landlord refused to repair the dishwasher, put a pad and pencil in the kitchen and noted every hour he spent washing dishes. He then multiplied the final tally by the minimum wage and submitted the amount in court as damages owed.
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“It was evidence, it was absolutely related to the fact that the dishwasher no longer worked, and the judge thought it was brilliant and he gave it to him,” Portman says. “And the landlord got the message; he fixed the dishwasher.”

2. Landlord’s claim: ‘It was like that when you moved in.’
Tenant’s response: “Oh, good, so you knew the blinds were broken. Great, now come fix them.”
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This landlord excuse is also known as, “You rented the apartment ‘as is,’” and is an all-too-common line. Unfortunately, it may be a valid claim for cosmetic matters or shoddy workmanship. But it doesn’t give the landlord a get-out-of-repairs-free card. State law (in every state except Arkansas) guarantees tenants an “implied warranty of habitability,” regardless of when they spotted the flaw.
If it’s a safety or health issue, tenants in many states can deduct the cost of repairs or withhold partial rent. But be warned: Get advice from a tenant advocate first. You can’t just stop paying all rent, as many renters believe. Nonpayment is grounds for eviction. Instead, send the landlord a certified letter requesting repairs. Then search online or ask a city council member for the name of a tenant center in your area.
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“We ask them if they want to stay or they want to move,” says John Fry, assistant director of the Illinois Tenants Union. “If they want to stay, we can help them pay reduced rent until they get repairs. If they want to move, we can help them break their lease.”

3. Landlord’s claim: ‘That will get fixed . . .’
Tenant’s response: “Great! Just give me a call when it’s fixed and that lease will get signed.”
“Again and again I hear, ‘The landlord promised me this.’ And that’s what it was, a promise,” Fry says. “Absolutely do not sign a lease, do not give a landlord any money, until what you see is what you want, because that’s all you’re ever going to get. Ever.”
Granted, it’s not easy. You may want to secure the place or start off on a good note and be trusting. But it’s your home, probably for at least 12 months. Do you know the landlord personally? Have the neighbors vouched that he makes good?
Remember, this is business.
“Repairs cut into profits,” says Ken Carlson, a landlord-tenant lawyer in California. “Need I say more?”

4. Landlord’s claim: ‘What a mess. I needed all your security deposit to fix the thumb-tack holes.’
Tenant’s response: “Oh my goodness. I am so sorry that while paying you $15,000 to live in your apartment last year, I actually lived in your apartment.”
“The landlord will make all kinds of claims that the tenant trashed the place and dare the tenant to do something about it,” Carlson says. “And because tenants have no idea what their legal rights are, they just pay it. So theft is rewarded.”
OK, here are the rules: A landlord may not charge a tenant for normal wear and tear. Small nail holes used to hang pictures? Normal. Ordinary paint discoloration? Normal. Minor scuffs on floors and carpets? Normal.
If you actually do damage something, the landlord should provide a written receipt detailing the repair costs along with the remainder of your deposit. And no charging for marks that were already there!
“We were in one situation where a landlord used a hole in the wall to steal the security deposit and he never repaired the hole,” Fry said. “We had three tenants and they all moved in with the hole in the wall, and he never fixed it and he stole all of their security deposits.”

5. Landlord’s claim: ‘Water? Noise? Talk to the neighbor.’
Tenant’s response: “OK. How about if I go talk to the neighbor about what an unresponsive landlord you are?”
Karen Tuominen, a communications consultant, rang her landlord the day she moved in to her Brooklyn two-bedroom to say that it was raining — inside.
“He literally said to my face, ‘You should really say something to the guy upstairs because he takes these wild baths. He fills it up. He’s got candles all over.’
“It was outrageous,” she says. “And I guess he didn’t think I would ever ask the guy. But his bathroom was completely dry. And now he’s a friend of mine.”
Later the tenants bonded again, this time when the landlord refused to exterminate for bedbugs and blamed individual tenants instead.
In both cases, he was forced to make repairs. A tenant’s contract for a habitable dwelling is with the landlord, not the neighbors.

6. Landlord’s claim: ‘It’s in the lease.’
Tenant’s response: “Sorry, but did your Uncle Fred draft that lease? Let’s check state and local laws, too.”
“Just because someone prints it on paper doesn’t make it valid and binding,” says Steven R. Kellman, a tenant lawyer and director of the Tenants Legal Center in San Diego.
Does an illegal clause invalidate the entire lease? No, probably not. But a tenant cannot be held to an illegal demand simply because it’s contained in a legal document.
“A lot of these tenant laws are not negotiable,” Portman says. But many professional leases will “ask people to waive their rights to habitability,” or their repair rights or the landlord’s notice to enter.
“What’s really creepy is that the landlord didn’t write the lease, a lawyer did,” she says.
In short, don’t buy this line. Research the question yourself. There is no such thing as a “standard lease,” and many, even from apartment groups, will contain errors, lawyers say.
“It’s a business. It’s not a public agency. And the last I checked with landlord-tenant law, greed is still legal,” Kellman says. “Tenants need to protect themselves.”

7. Landlord’s claim: ‘I can’t afford to fix it.’
Tenant’s response: “Gee, sorry to hear you’re having money problems, but, um, can you tell me again how that’s my problem? Wait, here’s an idea: Why not use some of the rent I’m paying to bring the unit up to code?”
The landlord will say he is too strapped to fix the water, “but of course the landlord has hot water. What an amazing thing,” Kellman says.
“They don’t negate their obligations to provide habitable dwellings because they don’t have the money,” Kellman says. “If they can’t afford to be a landlord, get out of the business.”

8. Landlord’s claim: ‘No one else complains.’
Tenant’s response: “Wow, what a lucky landlord you are! You’ve found tenants who don’t mind the smell of mold and the drip of leaky faucets! And what good news for me: By now you must have a hefty fix-it fund saved up!”
Sigh. This whopper is such a routine psychological ploy it might as well be printed on the bad-landlord’s business card.
“You’re the only person who complains about the water pressure.” “You’re the only person who complains about the heat.”
“They’re minimizing the problem,” Fry says. “If you’re the only person who’s complaining about it, it must not be very significant. Well, start comparing notes with other tenants in the building. They’re complaining about the same thing. It’s a lie.”

9. Landlord’s claim: ‘I don’t do repairs.’
Tenant’s response: “Oh, you don’t? So does that mean I don’t have to ‘do’ rent?”
Only in very few, special cases – such as when a manager is hired or drastically reduced rent is offered – may a contract be drawn up that arranges for the tenant to make repairs. But these are not regular leases, and they are rare, Portman says.
“Generally the landlord cannot shift obligation to the tenant to provide habitable dwelling,” Kellman says. “That’s the landlord’s responsibility. That’s what they’re getting paid for.”
And if you signed a no-repairs provision in the lease? See No. 7. The clause in the lease is likely illegal, Portman says.

10. Landlord’s claim: ‘I lost my house and have nowhere to live. I need the apartment back.’
Tenant’s response: “Well, I’m sorry that you haven’t been able to pay your mortgage, but I have been able to pay my rent, which means until the lease is up, it’s my home, not yours.”
Unfortunately, tenant advocates have been hearing this one a lot lately, as real-estate investors lose their shirts and suffer foreclosure. But, again, the issue hangs on elementary contract law. The landlord agreed to sell the space for a specified time. No take-backs.
“I think it’s a cultural perception that if you own something you can do whatever you want with it,” says Alouise Urness, a community organizer with the Tenants Union of Washington State. “That’s why we have laws to assure that people who aren’t in an ownership class are protected.”